Caring for those we lead.

My wife and I lead the marriage preparation class in our church. Two young folks, each on the staff of our church in congregational services, are in the current class. Because much of their work happens during our class time, they didn’t think it would work to attend. Their bosses encouraged them to come.

I suggested that it showed their bosses cared more about them than what they can accomplish. They agreed. They indicated that because of that care, they wanted to be the best staff they could be.

It’s been said,
“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink.”
You can, however, put salt in their hay!

I have often told students over the years that I care more about them than what they can do for us.

I was sitting in an elders’ meeting recently listening to two counselors, also elders, share about caring for our people. They said, “The vast majority of peoples’ needs can be met by someone who cares.”

In other words, people that we may think need a counselor simply need to be in a caring community. They called this “soul care” and they described it this way.

L- Love

  • Go to where they are.
  • Are you curious about where those feelings come from?
  • Feelings reveal reality. Explore feelings.
  • Feelings are driven by perspective. Perspective is driven by beliefs.

O- Offer yourself 

  • It’s easy to identify people by sin. But the New Testament refers to people as saints.
  • Requires vulnerability on our part.
  • Helping self-disclosure is healthy.

V- Validate.

  • Most of us want to vindicate.
  • We need to be about valuing others.
  • People need to feel safe.
  • Asking questions. “Tell me more about…”
  • Do we want to fix them more than we want to know them?

E- Encourage.

  • When we know the good, the bad and the ugly and still love them, that’s very encouraging to them.

There is so much more that can be said about soul care. And there is much to consider as we think about it in terms of Win, Build, Send. If you are interested in exploring more, there are free counseling courses available at Christiancourses.com.

This closes out my summer series of tips on being a better minister. Next week I begin another year of coaching tips on making win, build, send easier and extending our reach to more and more.

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