My wife and I lead the Marriage Prep Class in our church. It has been a ministry that we can do together. For us, it has been like going back to the days before our kids came along, when we were going on campus together. We enjoy ministry together. There is so much more I could say about this ministry, both, from how we benefit and the difference we are making in our couples lives. But that is beyond the scope of this tip.
One of the tools we use very early in our class is the Johari Window. We are not using the fully developed material that you can find on the internet. Instead, we are simply using the window to show that there are various parts of our lives that are
- Public— Known to self and to others.
- Blind— Known to others, but not to self.
- Façade— Known to self, but not to others.
- Unknown— Not known by either self or others.
We want our couples to understand that every relationship starts off with Public being a small quadrant and the Façade being the larger one. But as the relationship develops, we hope that the Public arena grows and the Façade and Unknown areas shrink.
I mention this because Shannon Compere, Leadership Development National Director, has covered it twice in meetings that I have been a part of in the last two months. She uses the Johari Window in personal development and developmental reviews. Whether we give feedback in a context of a formal review process or whether we do it in the normal course of our day to day activities, we want our feedback to be constructive. The development process helps us undergo self-disclosure in what once were Blind areas hidden to us.
So when we are discipling or coaching someone in ministry, we really are looking to see that the activities that they are involved in are really growing them into the kind of people that God intends for them to be in the first place. I have made it a habit over the years to tell those that I am coaching that I am more concerned about their becoming the right kind of person than their doing the right things. As they become the right person, they will do the right things. I want them to hear that I care more about their walk with the Lord and their personal growth than what I can get them to do. By the way, if you have not been to MissionalTeamLeaders.com, check out the Love the Lord filing cabinent. There is a lot there that will help you and those you coach to grow in the Lord.